Coaching Corner: Tip #1

Gleaned from years of career and performance coaching experience, I am highlighting my top 10 coaching tips. These tips are executive-tested and manager approved. These tips are easy to remember and I will be covering each tip in detail in a series of posts.

Meet Them Where They Are

The Golden Rule is: treat others the way we want to be treated. This rule has been enhanced and called the Platinum Rule which goes something like: treat others the way THEY want to be treated. This is what I call “meet them where they are”.

To get the best out of their teams, managers make adjustments to accommodate the needs of their team. The accommodations may be for personality and communication styles or personal needs. For me, it was the “ah-ha” moment when I realized that the people I supervised weren’t “mini me”.

Unlike me, not everyone wants to be promoted. Some people are comfortable doing what they are currently doing and don’t want the added stress of new and different responsibilities. I’ll never forget a very bright and motivated accountant I’ll call Angie. She was reliable and self-motivated. After six months of working with her, I began to push for her to take on more responsibility. I could tell she didn’t like my suggestions for advancing her career, but I just thought it was a lack of self confidence. During our third meeting, she asked me why I was giving her more work than some of the other accountants.

I explained that I saw a promotion in her future if she proved she was ready. She visibly bristled and told me she absolutely did not want a promotion. She loved her job and was happy with the status quo. She concluded the meeting by asking me to stop trying to get her promoted. I was stunned. It had never occurred to me that anyone would be happy with her current job.

Unlike me, not everyone wants to be praised in front of the rest of the team. Members of your team may prefer to be quietly rewarded rather than public fanfare. Some may prefer a hand shake and others may be happy with an e-card.

It seems obvious now but I had to learn important lessons and get to know what each person needed from me as their manager. The best way to do this is to ask them questions like:

• How do you want to be rewarded?
• What motivates you?
• How can I be a better manager for you?

Rather than assuming you know what others want based on what you would want if you were in their position, forget your assumptions and ask quality questions. Well thought out, open-ended questions can go a long way to understanding the needs of the individuals on your team.

It’s easy to assume that you know what your team expects from you. A better approach is to meet them where they are. Treat them the way they want to be treated. Ask the right questions and you will go a long way to creating a win for them and a win for you.